Slow Burn
by KappaForest
Summary: Grimmjow slapped his forehead as Ulquiorra, once again, failed to realize the insult." A series of drabbles centered around Grimmjow/ulquiorra prompts range from fluff to crack, but mostly crack.
1. Chapter 1

**Slow Burnt**

K a p p a F o r e s t

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a/n Hello Dears! I absolutely love Grimmulqui to death so I am very glad to finally be upload this fic. A collection of short drabbles and prompts. They are a bit shakey now

but I promise they'll get better as I go along. Most of them are au just so you know. Different settings and different genres.

Warnings: mild-language, uoocness, and unintentional spelling/grammar errors

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**Disclaimer: " KappaForest does not own Bleach, and never will " .....I need a moment...**

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**Prompt #1: Airplanes**

Grimmjow decided he'd never travel on a plane again. It had great food, great service, but he did not recall saying-

" Yeah put me in coach! Right between the 400 lb bitch and the crying baby."

**Prompt #2: Kitchenheimers**

Deep inside Las Noches, Ulquiorra paced around in circles. His tailcoat fluttered windlessly, as he fidgeted with the frills on his black apron. Aizen had decided to put Ulquiorra in charge of the kitchens, a request made by Gin after claiming the Cuarta had _'a butler like air' _to him. His new job was to cook up something nice during meetings, but Ulquiorra was having a rather hard time remembering what he was doing here. Well, other than the fact he was cooking, he could not seem to remember just _what_ it was he was cooking. He continued to pace.

The Cuarta looked up upon hearing a light whistling noise

'_odd, I do not remember brewing tea'_

He turned around to see the oven was convulsing, the whistling steadily getting louder

' _THAT'S what it was, how could I forget about the....uh-oh...'_

3 seconds later, the oven combusted into little fragments. Ulquiorra had taken cover under the counter as the flaming debris showered overhead, brushing the ashes off his uniform. He looked back to see his tray of sugar cookies, still perfectly aligned amidst the flaming fragments.

Later at the Espada meeting, everyone gathered around the meeting table, attempting to blow out the flaming platter of cookies

**Prompt #3: Lightining**

An eight year old Grimmjow idly made his way up the staircase, two small candles lighting his way. The city along with the orphanage he stayed in was currently experiencing a severe power outtage, roads were closed and traffic was building fast. The atmosphere on the inside was almost as fierce and chaotic as the raging weather on the outside. The other children were running senselessly through the building, there panic fueling they're need to find someone, anyone in the pitch black that had a light source as the adults tried to stay in control.

Grimmjow already had three of the younger kids following him, probably four or five at the most. They were panicked, and trembled, shutting their eyes when streaks of white light lit up the pitch darkness. On the inside, Grimmjow was just as nervous as they were. The bluenette ran into one of the adults, upon closer inspection, he could see the man was only a teenager. Grimmjow always made sure to hide his fear around the other kids-

He handed one of his candles to the grateful teen.

"Your a good boy" he ruffled the blue lockes

-because _somebody_ had to be brave the one. He turned a corner to see a short black haired boy, sitting with his knees to his chest. In front him was an even shorter freckled faced blonde, his face buried in his knees. He knew them, Ulquiorra, and Wonderweiss, he knew them very well. They all ended up in the orphanage for tragic reasons. Apparently Wonderweiss's parents could not handle the sad fact that their one and only child was autistic, and decided to straight up dump him on the street. Ulquiorra's parents were taken into custody for child abuse, all evidence needed was right there on his face. The scars running down his once flawless face, were sadly his trademark.

As Ulquiorra covered the blond's ears once again from the noise, Grimmjow came up and hugged him from behind, content to stay in that position.

**Prompt #4: Tooth**

" On the count of 3, I'm going to shut the door, alright" Ulquiorra stood next to the door, a piece of string tied to the silver doorknob.

On the other end of string was a tooth, Grimmjow's tooth to be exact. It was as, he claimed It, '_hurting like a bitch',_ and had been pokin' at it ever since.

" ...you sure this is gonna work?"

" Of course I am, now are you ready"

He nodded

"now on the count of 3"

He took a deep breath

"...._**3!**_" Ulquiorra quickly slammed the door, catching the other by surprise. Not really achieving the desired effect, the string tugged the blue haired male with it.

"_**WHAT THE-**_" Said blue haired male fell face first against the door.

he sunk to the ground

" Did it work?"

"YOU SAID ON THE COUNT OF 3!!'

"....Yes"

" WHAT HAPPENED TO 1 AND 2!?"

" Does it really matter?"

Grimmjow lolled his tongue around his mouth to find a previously occupied indent.

"....."

"...Goddammit that was my favorite canine."

**Prompt #5: Cuddle Calls**

Ulquiorra looked up from his book to see his phone vibrating lightly on the table. He flipped open the green, glossy interior to check the ID.

" Hello?"

" Hey babe, your not doin' anythin' important right now are you?"

"......cuddle call?"

"yes. Now"

"....fine..."

Cuddle Calls: a phone call or text message to arrange an immediate cuddle session.

**#6: Birthday**

_'goddammit'_

Grimmjow sprawled across the large couch of he and Ulquiorra's apartment space. Today had been shitty and absolute hell for him and he just wanted to pretend today never even existed. This morning, his day started out all right, but only went down hill from there, _way down_. By the way, did he mention today was his birthday? His 200th to be exact, practically 20 in human time.

Earlier, he had gone out for a short walk, enjoying his new found freedom, until that is, he coincidentally passed through the Orihime woman's apartment complex. Grimmjow could of sworn she was waiting for him to pass by as he watched her wave to him, tripping over her own feet as she nearly dropped the small package. She surprisingly retained her balance.

After her quick recovery, she placed the box down to run over and give the blue haired arrancar, a tight hug. _'jeez'_, it was only a couple months ago that the red head wouldn't even consider attempting such a feat.

"Happy Birthday Grimmjow!" she squeezed tighter

Oh great, she remembered.

_'lovely'_

" I made a special cake just for you! Here ya' go"

He stared at the box the girl had handed him. He picked at the blue polka dotted ribbon, tossing it aside as he opened the lid. Low and behold, inside was indeed a cake, a cake he would of fallen for it,

if not for the greasy fish tail hanging out it's frosting covered middle, accompanied by an equally greasy pair of fishlips poking out the other end. He looked up at the smiling fairy wielder, just to make sure she knew there was a** dead fish **_('ew it reeks!')_in the cake**.**

_'hoh boy'_

" I couldn't decide last night whether or not I should make you cake or fish, cause' I assumed since your a cat and all that you'd like fish better, but cake _is_ the traditional thing to make on birthdays...so I made both!" the poor girl was downright ecstatic.

After receiving various other gifts (catnip, razorblades , condoms_**xxxsmall**_ _'very funny!' _, porn etc.) he could only briefly wonder why people went outta' their to celebrate the day he came out of a vagina.

On second thought he didn't wanna know.

Grimmjow was now gratefully in the safety of his apartment, _away_ from the stupids. He had both legs propped up on the mahogany coffee table.A door _'clicked_' as Ulquiorra walked inside, a tiny package in hand. He briskly walked up to Grimmjow, a small, barely noticeable blush adorned his face as he grudgingly held out the package.

"I...I know how much you...despise birthdays.... I despise them too.....but be glad I bought you this, it will come in handy, and I would appreciate it if you didn't break this one."

Ulquiorra shoved the pack into Grimmjow's hands as he went off.

_'odd'_

Since when did Ulquiorra ever get him anything.

He took the lid off the small parcel to see what he had gotten him. The blue haired man broke into a wide grin after opening his gift. Ulquiorra had bought him a gorgeous new cellphone, one to replace his old one after accidentally knocking it out the open window, unintentionally knocking out a random pedestrian.

It was sleek, it was sexy, it was **_so_** him! He could almost see his reflection in the matching blue color tones as the light glinted off it's glossy surface. He immediatly turned it on. Saving the numbers he could remember.

'_heh, guess birthday's aren't so bad afterall_ '

Well...he still hated them mind you, but for Ulquiorra...

_he'd make the exception._

**Prompt #7: Slow Burn**

Grimmjow slapped his forehead as Ulquiorra once again failed to realize the insult. Since last week, everyone on campus had been calling EMO and tellin' him to _'don't go screwin' razorblades now ya here". _

It was gettin' _real_ old,

the oblivious boy would just tilt his head, and go on with whatever it was he was doing. Failing to see that they were laught _at him_.

Noitra began to notice this too

" Aw, he couln't _that_ stupid could he?"

" He must be if hasn't figured he's be'in insulted by now"

Szayel piped up

" Well _I_ personally think it is rather cute trait of his."

".....EMO?"

" Forget it, you could yell all sorts of shit in his face and it will be a slow burn. You'd be lucky if he gets it after a few days."

Yep, this was definately something Grimmjow would have to look into.

Slow Burn: An insult that does not sink in for a long period of time.

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**a/n: That's it first the few, It came pretty bad cause' had to speed through these, normally I'd take my time because I'd do much better stuff. I still have plenty other ideas, but if you wanna' request feel free! These were originally mostly supposed to be really short like the very first one, but I just put the kinda' long ones together to make it easier. Review if you'd like, it'd make me very happy!**

**Chow~ K a p p a F o r e s t  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Slow Burn**

Kappa Forest

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a/n: Hello! Thanks for the reviews/favs/alerts!! , I believe this one is more organized and neater than the last ones. Not all these are grimmulqui, but there either grimmulqui, grimm-centric, or ulqui-centric.

warnings: ooc, unbetad

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**Disclaimer: " KappaForest does not own Bleach yet..."**

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**Prompt #8: Language**

Ulquiorra was having a tough time trying to communicate his blue haired lover.

Especially when said man was speaking an entirely different language...

" _Damn! _Ulqui, you baked the _fuckin' shit_ outta' that pie. That motherfucker was tasty as hell!"

" ....."

" ....That was... a compliment?"

**Prompt #9: Strap  
**

_' Foolish shinigami'_

Ulquiorra made an abrupt stop, clenching and unclenching his fists as he paused to reclaim his breath.

He was miles away from Las Noches, where the shinigami-trash were currently taking the upper hand in the raging battle.

Just as the Cuarta was ready to head off, he halted as he felt the presence of an unmistakably strong spiritual pressure.

Uncharacteristcally, Ulquiorra's green orbs widened like saucers at the arrival of the notorious, Byakuya Kuchiki.

_' I-Impossible!'_

" But **how**!"

This couldn't be, he was in the middle of the desert, with no sense of direction, not to mention _THOUSANDS_ of miles away with his reiatsu _expertly_ hidden.

The dear noble could _almost_ laugh as he pointed downwards.

In the sand beneath him was a squiggly line.

A squiggly line, that led straight to the tip of Ulqui's sword.

" ......."

" ......."

" ......."

" ......."

"....shit..."

_' I knew I should of gotten the shoulder strap'_

**Prompt #10: Cake or Death**

_" YOU! CAKE OR DEATH?"_

_" Ah, cake please."_

_" ...VERY WELL! GIVE HIM CAKE!"_

_" Thank you, it's very good-"_

Ulquiorra switched the power button on the remote. It were times like these that furthered his belief that humans were clueless.

If it were him he would of obviously picked both, because-

1. He'd be a Vasto Lorde.

2. He'd be a Vasto Lorde with cake.

**Prompt #11: Hic-cups'**

" Grimmjow, do you mind, I am trying to read here.

" Screw ***hic* **you! s'not like I'm able to control it."

" ...Have you tried spelling your name..."

" What?"

" It is a useful tactic used to the humans use," he honestly did not know if this worked or not, never really recalling a time he himself had hic-cups', since he didn't have a throat an' all....

" Fine."

" G-"

he paused

" Ulqui"

" hmm?"

" ..."

" ...I can't spell"

**Prompt #12: Gender**

Noitra hastily tossed the porn book he was reading when Grimmjow strolled in.

" Hey Grimmjow, s' wrong with you?"

" You know that hot chick I met at the bar last night."

" Yeah! the one with the black hair."

" Yeah that one. You see I went ta' her house afterwards, and turns out, she was **dude**!"

"_** SERIAL!!?**_"

" Serial, but it's okay because I got me some sweet transaction if you know what I'm say'in."

**Prompt #13: "He's Just Not That Into You"**

In the sand, a small little boy with emerald orbs observed the other children, watching them scream manically as they ran across the multicolored playground.

He briefly brought his attention over to young Halibel, as she prepared to shove Stark's sleeping body down a slide.

He got up to see if the boy would be alright, only to be roughly shoved back down by a certain blue haired someone.

Ulquiorra looked up into the face of evil.

" wh-why did you do that?"

the blue boy scrunched up his face-

_" BECAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE DOG POO!"_

- turning on his heels as he stomped off.

The abused boy could feel the tears already gathering at the corners of his green eyes, and got up to go where his caretakers were.

Gin bent down on his knees " Awww, what's the matter Ulqui-chan?"

With a trembling arm, he gestured at the bluenette, who was now laughing his ass off after watching Yammy accidentally body slam Stark's unconscious body as Halibel snapped photos with her pink camera.

Aizen also bent down so he was at level with the 4 year old.

" Ulquiorra, do you know why that little boy did those things"

he gulped, sniffled, and shook his head.

" Because he _likes you_"

"** WTF!!"**

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**a/n: Oh yeah I went there Bite me XD For some reason it's a lot of fun writing them as kids, prolly' cause' they argue alot :) excuse my bad grammer it's somthing i'v had my entire life, which sucks big time . I have others typed up already, but I'll just carry them to part 3. Review/Request if you'd like, but no ones forcing you ;D**

**Chow~ KappaForest  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Slow Burn**

K a p p a F o r e s t

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a/n: Once again, thank you to all who alerted/faved/reviewed this. Y'all are just too cool **3. **And let's not forget my peeps at school, they are my daily dose of insanity (and inspiration)

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**Disclaimer: No worries, I will never in this lifetime own Bleach (be glad)  
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**Prompt #14: Cute**

For Ulquiorra, watching his feline lover snoozing soundly on the cottony cushions, was probably the cutest thing he'd ever sawed.

For Grimmjow, watching _his_ green eyed lover, as he shook his head, hands covering his heated face for even thinking such a thought

was priceless

**Prompt #15: Interrupted**

Grimmjow groaned as he pulled back to suck on Ulquiorra's swollen lip, eventually slinking his tongue inside the small, hot cavern.

He loved where this was going, and he was going to take it further until his small partner shoved him off

" What the hell!!"

The blue haired man followed his boyfriend's gaze only to see half the occupants of the movie theater ogling them.

Even the people in the front row had turned around to watch the drool-worthy exhibit.

All around them, dozens of females were phoning and texting each other, one telling the individual on the other end to get their fat arse over immediatly, while another snapped non-stop photos on her bejeweled cell phone.

The rest were either having a major nosebleed, or had passed out from too much blood loss.

A teen with two, long pigtails squished between the two lovebirds to say-

" OMG! This is _SO_ much hotter than the movie!!"

**Prompt #16: Drinking**

" Aw, c'mon Ulqui, live a little~"

A drunken Grimmjow attempted to scoot closer to his partner.

" I'm dating you aren't I!?"

Ulquiorra cringed at the scent of his alcoholic breath.

His lover had once again gone up and gotten himself drunk as a sailor and was now trying to have a go at him, failing quite miserably.

The green eyed man was beyond tired of this, for his little drunken outings were starting to form a soon to be familiar pattern-

1 tequila.

2 tequila.

3 tequila.

Floor.

**Prompt #16: Kiss**

Grimmjow was stunned.

No, he was beyond stunned, he was on the brink of **'What teh Fuckity shit shit shizz', **and had absolutely no fucking' idea how to fix this.

He hastily let go of Ulquiorra's shoulders and backed up a bit, giving each other some well needed space.

Honestly, how was he going to weasel his way out of this one?

_' I-It's not my fault!..I-It...just..happened!'_

He blinked as he watched the green eyed arrancar touch his lips, whom in actuality, was rather confused about his feelings...

Urahara's shoulders shook behind his seaweed green fan, a witness to the shituation at hand.

" O_hohoho~_ My, my Grimmjow, who knew..."

" OI! Get outta' here old man!"

" Ahh~ But Grimmjow, why would wann'a do that, things are just starting to-"

Grimmjow didn't have time for him right now and literally _**SHOOP DA WHOOP**'!!_

I mean **_CERO_** _blast'd _at his head.

Urahara took no mind and put out a tiny flame that singed the edge of his bucket hat.

" Fine, fine, I can take a hint.."

and akwardly climbed out the fresh hole.

Ulquiorra piped up

" What did you do to me?"

The former cuatro was genuinly curious as to what the foreign gesture had meant.

" I..have no clue what your talking about"

he mentally kicked his own arse.

" Do not lie to me Grimmjow, I am simply curious as to the meaning of the, as Urahara stated it, 'kiss'"

Grimmjow bristled upon hearing the word.

" Well tough luck caus' it ain't got no meaning, so SCREW OFF!"

" Must you be so vulgar, and what did I just tell you! I very well know there is indeed some hidden meaning to the 'kiss'."

The oddly relaxed bluenette crossed his arms.

" No. There isn't."

Ulquiorra's eyes became a little more watchful of the former sexta's behaviour. If Grimmjow wanted to play he'd play.

He stood his ground

" Yes. There is."

" No there isn't."

" Yes there is."

" Is not-"  
" Is too-"

" Is not-"

" Is too-"

" IS NOT!"

" Is too!"

" IS NOT!!'

" Is too!"

" IS NOT!!!"

" ... Is not-"

" _IS FUCKIN' TOO!..._WAIT!..NO!..DAMMIT!!"

It was Ulquiorra's turn to cross his arms.

" FINE! If you really wanna' know, it means I think your a real DICK! HAPPY!?"

The brunette looked thoughtful for a moment, running the statement through his head once over before tipping his head back and pulling the blue haired man down for their second kiss that day.

A kiss that left the two panting and breathless once they parted.

The shorter caught his breath

" For the record, your an even bigger one."

_grimmjow pondered if ulqui had intended the innuendo in that statement_

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**a/n: Sorry for the shortness, its xtray busy where I live this time around. Ti'll next time! Review/Request if you'd like, but no ones forcing you too :D**

**Chow!~ KappaForest  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Slow Burn**

K a p p a F o r e s t

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a/n: Hello again! Thank you to the everyone who reviewed/faved/alerted et! You guys really make my day 3

Warning: T for number 19 XD

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**Disclaimer: "KappaForest-chan does not ownz Beach" **

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**Prompt #17: Cuddles?**

Grimmjow had his own unique ways of showing affection.

And Ulquiorra understood that, truly he did, otherwise they wouldn't be in a relationship.

But Grimmjow had yet to discover the fine line between cuddling, and holding someone down so they can't get away.

**Prompt #18: Chess**

Sitting in front of the computer, a certain blue haired male was fuming after getting beat in the game humans called 'chess'.

You could say he was little more than mortified after losing to a metal box.

Too bad it was no match for him at kickboxing.

**Prompt #19: Cats and Dogs**

A green eyed man sitting on the couch, flicked through the channels on the tv before settling on a channel titled 'Animal Planet'

_'ugh'_

Ulquiorra did not like animals, they were smelly and left there 'leavings' randomly askew _(particularly the sidewalk)_ .

He considered them trash, and disgusting to be around.

He did not understand why humans categorized themselves as either a cat person, or a dog person _(which were apparently popular pet choices for humans)_.

The man found both to be detestable, but if he had to choose, he was most definately the latter.

He would not put up with all the meowing, the parasites, the licking, the shedding, the litter, the teeth, the claws, _(even though dogs practically have the same attributes)_

And he most definetly would not put up with the_ kittens_ _(annoying little things)_

Yes, he would prefer dogs, because despite their loudness and dumbness, dogs could be trained to be obedient, loyal, and follow their master's orders.

But ironically, there was one cat he liked.

He placed the remote down to thread his slim fingers through the blue lockes displayed across his lap.

One cat who beat out all the others hands down.

His mild petting stirred the sleeping man, as he looked down into the gleaming sapphires.

One would always have a special place inside of him

(no pun intended)

**Prompt #: Bad Examples**

A 10 year old Grimmjow stood wide eyed as he watched his beloved parents fight.

This was the first real fight that Grimmjow had the chance to observe up close and personal, and oddly it fascinated him, particularly their vocabulary.

He payed close attention as they spat and yelled in front of eachother's faces, waving their arms for emphasis.

Deeper into the fight, he perked up when he heard his father call his mother a 'bitch' and his mother call his father a 'bastard'.

With great interest he interrupted their fight to ask them

" Hey! What does 'bitch' and 'bastard' mean?"

The two deboggling parents did a triple take upon hearing the words.

" I-It means, ladies and gentlemen!"

Hm. He accepted the answer.

Later on, the blue haired child placed his ear against the door, listening as his parents 'made up'.

Once they finished up, he immediatly asked them-

" What does 'dicks' and 'titties' mean?"

The not so innocent child's parents quadruple taked at the not so innocent question.

This time, his father said-

" Not to worry, it simply means hats and coats!"

The man waggled his eyebrows as Grimmjow raised his.

On Thanksgiving, he caught his father shaving his blue stubble and accidentally cut himself.

" Shit!" he said

Grimmjow smiled and did his thing

" So what does 'shit' mean?"

Again caught in a bad time, he gulped and hesitated before saying

" ...It's the brand of shaving cream I'm using, Shit Shaver..."

His father turned to smile lopsidedly, only to see him take down the stairs.

With precission timing, he spied his mother as she was cutting the turkey.

She cut herself and yelled, " Fuck!"

The women had slapped a hand over her mouth to cover up, but it was already to late

" Fuck? What does 'fuck' mean?"

Grimmjow was on a role today.

" um..er, it is a phrase you use when you are, stuffing the turkey! yes, that's it..."

And finally, the doorbell rang.

Grimmjow ran up and to answer the door to his relatives and said-

**"** Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet,

my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen

fucking the turkey!**"**

_"!!!!!!!!!!"_

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**a/n: Ha! ignore the last one if you want, that was joke someone told me in class ( what can I say, they inspire me) I am currently in the works of an _actual_ story (gasp!),one that requires a lot of planning, so I may be taking a couple breaks. Once again, thanks to everyone who favourited/reviewed/alerted this random and craxy drabble series.**

** Review/Request if you'd like, but I is not forcing you too :D**

**Chow~ KappaForest  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Slow Burn **

K a p p a F o r e s t

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**a/n: Sorry for the latiness!! I have been working on my shitty report, and doing some planning on myu other AU story T.T Reveiwers/alerters/favoriters have caused my brain to explode from the awesomesauce that is you**

**warnings for crack and ooc! Major ooc!  
**

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**Disclaimer: " KappaForest-tan does not own Bleach" **

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**Prompt #21: Tatsuki**

" _Please _Tatsuki-chan? I promise they won't be a bother!"

Orihime clung childishly onto the spiky haired tomboy, whom up till now had been denying herself a visit to Orihime's apartment.

Tatsuki was very reluctant to visit nowadays, things were different now, and though Orihime was still her usual dopey self, she could clearly see how more grown up she was, even going as far as to successfully bake a cake that was both tasty and non-life threatening.

But the biggest change of all, was when she decided out of the blue to let _them _live with them.

Oh yes, things were _very_ different after _they _came into the picture.

Tatsuki knew the moment she met them, that they were FREAKS!

First of all, you could probably spot the duo a mile away, because NOBODY has blue hair. Sure Ichigo had orange hair, even his weird nakama had red hair, white hair, one was even bald, but that's different, those at least are related to natural hair colors, I mean red and orange was for redheads, white is for old people, don't get me started on baldness, but BLUE .

Second of all, where did she get the other guy, Planet Woo? The guy was a head or two shorter than bluey, his eyes were too big for his head and they were just, too, GREEN! Like an alien baby.

" It's going to be really fun Tatsuki-chan! I promise they'll behave, Grimmjow normally listens to Ulquiorra who actually reminds me of Sora, and speaking of Sora I tried to make another cake like the last one but this one kind of crawled.."

They were strolling up towards Orihime's room now, Tatsuki blocking out Orihime's nonsensical speak.

No way would she ever leave Orihime alone with them, starting now.

There was something very odd about them, other than physical appearance,

But what? What..?

Opening the door, all her questions were answered right then and there.

" Aww, aren't they cute Tatsuki-chan!"

If you could call a heated makeout session/grope fest cute, then yes cute indeed.

Tatsuki excused herself to go get a tissue.

**Prompt #22: Ichigo**

Poor Ichigo, must he always be the one to stir up trouble.

" Fuck you Ulquiorra! Like hell he'd wanna sleep with you!"

" As if he'd wanna sleep with _you_."

" Why I outta-"

Ulquiorra clung to Ichigo's arm as Grimmjow made a grab for his wrist.

" Ichigo! Tell him you'd rather sleep with someone whose a hella' more _experienced _in this area"

" No, he'd rather spend time with someone whose not a bubbleheaded buffoon, right Ichigo?"

The two arrancar began doing a tug-of-war, with Ichigo obviously the rope...

" Che' ya think your better than me! I'm more experienced!"

" I'm gentler"

" I'm faster"

" I'm not pushy"

" Well I'm not a BITCH!"

" Your not exactly a genius either."

Grimmjow's face scrunched up, forming his trademark smirk

" I'm BIGGER than you."

Ulquiorra narrowed his eyes before-

" I'll let you be seme..."

Hold the phone! Ichigo perked up, deciding to join the action and-

" I'm sorry Grimmjow, but that is an offer I can't refuse."

They took off into the night, leaving Grimmjow speechless...well, not really.

( WAIT! YOUR NOT LEAVING ME HERE! SHIT!...H-HEY!...ULQUI... ULQUIORRA!... HAVE I TOLD YOU HOW SEXY YOU ARE LATELY!...SERIOUSLY!..dammit....CAN I ATLEAST WATCH...?)

**Prompt #23: Mushy**

" Open wide Ichi-"

" Renji, that tickles, stop"

Ichigo tried to scoot sideways in his chair as Renji tried to feed him.

" Aw, I thought you loved strawberries..."

" Well don't do that, it's embarrassing.."

" I'm sorry Ichi, I just love you so much "

" Renji boo!"

" Berry-chan!"

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra gaped as they stood in the doorway, both mortified and a little scarred after watching the scene in front of them.

" Ulquiorra."

" Hm."

" If there's ever a time when I become creepy as hell,_ and_ give you a retarded nickname, don't hesitate to smack me with this bat, or fwap me with a frozen tuna.

**x0x0x0x**

**a/n: Once again, sorry for shortness. But on Valentine's Day, I promise I'll make those xtra long! But I'll be updating sooner once my mid-winter break starts.**

**Review/Request if you'd like, but I won't force you**

**Chow~ KappaForest  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Slow Burn **

**K a p p a F o r e s t**

**xoxox**

**a/n: Hello! Thank you all for reviewing/alerting/favoriting my drabble story, it motivates me and makes my insides explode in a bloody puddle of awsome!!  
**

**warning: slight ooc, language, boyxboy **

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

**Disclaimer: "KappaForest-tan does not own Bleach" Tite Kubo obviously does**

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

_** +++~Happy Valentine's Day~+++**_

**Prompt #24: Loath**

" You little shit!"

" You fool!"

" You take that back!"

Grimmjow dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand as he snarled violently at the shorter black haired individual.

" There is no need to take back what is _TRUE, _Grimmjow."

" BITCH!"

" Idiot."

The quarreling duo shook the place as they continued swapping insults, the bit of space separating them closing with every comment.

" Shitface-"

" Bubbleheaded-"

" Scrawny bitch-"

" Jaggerjerk-"

" COCKSUCKER!"

Ulquiorra gaped

" ...Y-Your so vulgar!"

Now literally in each other's faces, this fight, like all the others, started heatedly-

" I LOATH YOU!" Uquiorra shouted

" I LOATH YOU MORE!" Grimmjow lunged at him and kissed him sloppily

-and ended heatedly

**Prompt #25: Valentine's Day**

Grimmjow leaned his head atop his arms on the small table of Urahara's shop. After getting a full pardon from the Soul Society, there really wasn't much else to do in the human world, especially when you needed _this guy_ supervising your every move outside his shop.

Across him was Ulquiorra, also pardoned, sipping his tea idly, while next to him was Urahara himself, hiding behind his fan as he normally did.

He glanced outside for a moment, apparently, today was a very special day in the human world, another one of there silly holidays that was celebrated annually. Urahara had explained to him about Valentine's Day, the day where you shower your partner with ample amounts of love, and chocolate, and cards and blah.

Grimmjow _tch_'d audibly, if he thought _Christmas _was stupid, than this one was at least twice as ridiculous, defanitely. It was hysterical, watching them skip around like a love sick puppy, carrying gifts that looked liked someone puked lace and ribbon all over em'.

Surprisingly, he wasn't the only one that disliked this particular holiday. Hence why Urahara was with them instead of outside 'spreading the love'.

" Grimmjow, what are the humans doing?"

" Celebrating."

" ....,...?"

" VALENTINE'S DAY you idiot, they're celebrating Valentine's Day, and for your information, it's another shitty holiday where factories make money from people buying chocolates as a way of showing their fake affection to people. Everyone acts lovesick and mushy. Basically it's the time of year you celebrate your_ love _for a person. It's damn creepy."

Grimmjow shuddered as he watched a girl run past with a giant stuffed teddy bear, complete with a plushie heart, button eyes, and a 'try me' button on it's behind.

Ulquiorra looked thoughtful for a second, before placing his teacup back on it's tiny holder.

" That is odd, humans are so bent and reliable of their emotions, if it is a day about 'love', wouldn't ' Valentine's Day', be everyday?"

Urahara chuckled lightly, folding up his fan before sighing wistfully

" Aahh~ Ulquiorra-kun, you catch on so fast."

**Prompt #26: Present**

Grimmjow was literally about to pull his hair out.

Today obviously was Valentines Day, his most ridiculous and hated holiday of them all, and he simply did not know what to do.

Don't get him wrong, he detested Valentine's Day to no end, all the sappy mushy fluffiness in the air was enough to make him gag, but he wanted to use today as an excuse to finally confess to him.

And by him, he meant Ulquiorra.

Many months ago, he Ulquiorra and Nel had successfully defected from Aizen's army, and since then, the three of them had spent many long days together at Urahara's place, actually it was mostly just he and Ulquiorra since Nel seemed had found a friend in the Orhime and girl and Rangiku lady. But somewhere in between all the short and fleeting moments they spent together, the short, ebony haired, bug eyed, apathetic, ex-Cuatro had burned a place into a special organ Grimmjow had thought til' now to be nonexsistent.

And how is going to confess you say? Good question, good question indeed.

_' Damn it all! The fuck does this have to be so hard?'_

Grimmjow had least a half a dozen girls give him cards and shit, girls he had never met in his life. He received chocolate and a dozen cat plushies but that just wouldn't work.

_' Chocolate? Like hell, the guy's gonna get cavities if eats anymore. _

_A card? Yeah, just what he wants, a proclamation of my undying love in the form of a cheap poem on an even trashier card. Your so brilliant Grimmjow, genius! I outta beat my own ass just for thinkin' that._

Grimmjow was _this_ close to head bangin' the table til' it split in half.

Damn, he could already hear Ulquiorra's deadpan voice

" Grimmjow, what are you doing."

" Wow, it's like can really hear him!"

" no. Really Grimmjow, what are you doing"

Scrambling for purchase, Grimmjow spun around to see the object of worries looking rather worried himself.

" Grimmjow, are you okay? I have been watching you spend the past two minutes banging your head incessantly on the table"

Grimmjow looked through his peripheral vision to see his head had indeed left a nice sized dent.

_' dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT! HE CAN'T BE HERE! NOT NOW! NUUUUU!"_

_" _I-I-er-um-w-well-I-"

Ulquiorra raised a delicate brow as Grimmjow's voice continued short-circuiting.

" I'd be worried Grimmjow it isn't in your rambunctious nature to act like this."

The green eyed man turned on his heels as he made way for the exit.

Oh what was he doing? Grimmjow tapped his head when he finally realized getting people gifts just wasn't him. He was Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, former SEXta of Aizen's legion of sex toys, I mean arrancar. If anything he didn't _need _gifts to make people of all genders swoon over the sexy rebel persona he worked so hard to build up. No way would he be subdued into a stuttering, jittery TWAT! HELL YHEA!

All he needed were the gifts that god gave them and put em' to good use.

Which was why Grimmjow mad the bold move to spin Ulquiorra around and give him the most desirous and lascivious kiss he ever gave.

His large ego was further infatened when he kissed back.

**Prompt #26: Cake**

Urahara pranced up to front steps, just getting back from his V' Day shopping, and busted his own door open with a nice kick, slamming against the side wall.

" OOooohh~ Ulqui! I hope you and your yaoi-muffin Grimmjow didn't do anything too naughty while I was away!~"

Urahara scanned around the area and spotted Ulquiorra with his hands slapped across this mouth, his expression (gasp) portraying that of immense shock.

" Ulquiorra, guess what I got everyone for Valenti-eh- Ulqui?"

The door popped off it's hinges with a small '_ching'_ and bowled over.

Revealing a certain blue haired former sexta, with what was previously a chocolate strawberry filled cake mashed into his face, two of the berries clung onto the icing where is eyes should of been.

" Grimmjow! I-I-"

Ulquiorra jumbled his words while Urahara waggled his finger, clicking his tongue.

" Tsk tsk Grimmjow, you should know better than that, standing near a door, somebody could of busted inside and-"

Grimmjow emitted a low growl from his throat.

_' Oh! oh dear..."_

" Accidents happen?"

**xoxoxox**

**a/n: CacophonyofScreams: I decided to put yours into the chapter! Catnip- Oh, so many evil things, so little time...**

** That was fun! I had meant to put in more but I kinda ran out of time to type them out . **

**Lol, I want a yaoi-muffin~  
**

** I hope you all had a cracktastic Valentines! I sure did XD**

** Review/Request if you like, but I won't force you too 3**

**Chow~ KappaForest Have a good one!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Slow Burn**

**K a p p a F o r e s t**

**x0x0x0x**

**a/n: Hello! Damn I keep getting these up late,sorry about that but I was looking for my memory stick thing that's got a couple of my other**

**fics/oneshots, I hope I find em', otherwise I'll have to sit down in a corner and try and remember them all T^T**

**x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x**

**Disclaimer: " KappaForest does not own Bleach"**

**x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x**

**Prompt #27: TV**

Ulquiorra was getting exasperated, this could not go on any longer.

" Just gimme _5_ minutes- Oh shit!!"

Grimmjow cringed at the television screen, previewing a program showing a vehicle combust into a million little pieces of flaming debris, watching the pathetic humans run around like ants.

The blue haired male was absolutely ecstatic at his recent purchase, it was probably the best thing that ever happened to him, next to Ulquiorra of course...

Said green eyed man was just the opposite, he could not imagine how humans could spend hours upon hours glued to such a pointless contraption, furthering his point that humans were indeed useless trash.

Sadly, Grimmjow was the perfect example of such a specimen, never leaving sight of the screen for a moment, completely obsessed and providing all his undivided attention to it, and Ulquiorra did _not_ like being ignored...

So he did what only a caring lover would do for the sake of their significant other and dismantled it.

Or tried to, it seemed that the people who makes these things made them completely Ulqui-proof.

Which led to his current situation, tangled in thick cords that wound around his neck, his chest, his waist, his arms, and coiled tightly around his leg area, making this a rather unpleasant position to be in.

The unpleasantness of it all was furthered when Grimmjow gave him some very lustful eye contact, the playfulness glinting off his sapphire orbs as he had a brief flashback to some of the **xxx** shows he 'studied'.

Ulquiorra had brains enough to figure he was completely and utterly fucked.

Literally.

**Prompt #28: Tickle**

Who knew Ulquiorra would be so ticklish.

His skin must have been more sensitive than most thought because Grimmjow certainly wasn't expecting the pale boy to start laughing hysterically while hunching over to clutch his sides, even going as far as to start tearing up a little.

All Grimmjow had done was take two of his fingers and poke him on the sides a bit just to see if he'd get a reaction.

It was kind of creepy, okay very creepy, but the more he thought about it, the more useful it seemed, in more ways than one.

**Prompt #29: Arm wrestling  
**

" Nnng...grrr...DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL?!!"

Grimmjow gripped tighter to the others hand as he tried to slam it down onto the white table, using as much force as he could muster up.

Sadly his attempts were fruitless as Ulquiorra's arm remained stationary on the table, how foolish of him, thinking he could really beat him in an arm wrestling contest, it was times like these Ulquiorra wondered why he even put up with the sexta's antics.

A vain was this close to popping on the sexta's head as he strained himself.

Yup, there was something definatly wrong with this picture, Ulquiorra had almost little to NO muscle in his thin bones, NONE! And Grimmjow was even using _**two** _hands.

The blue haired Espada's features twitched a bit while his rival looked rather....bored.

_-5 minutes later-_

The fourth Espada nearly flung out from his chair when Neliel slammed his hand down onto the table.

Meanwhile, Grimmjow threw his pride and deflated ego down the toilet.

**Prompt #30: Catnip**

Szayel shielded himself with his arms, heaving in much oxygen as the smoke in his lab cleared up.

Next to him, Ulquiorra coughed and wheezed heavily while picking himself up off the floor.

" Szayel Aporro, that is the last time I am going to help you with an experiment."

He dusted and shook off some of the leftover debris off his white uniform with a great distaste.

Szayel followed suit and hastily cleared his throat.

" Ehehe...I can assure you it wasn't on purpose..."

The Octava was in the midst of another _brilliant _experiment, one involving an herb called Catnip, an interesting little mint in the human world that had quite the effect on animals, cats in particular.

He wanted to run a couple tests to see the reactions with otherworldy substances found in Hueco Mundo, trying to harness the abilities of this peculiar plant, only to have it blow up in his face, literally.

This most certainly wasn't going to please Aizen-sama.

He had several large pots of plotted catnip set neatly atop his long table, which sadly was all over his lab, himself, and his superior.

" I shall take my leave now Octava, when I come back, I expect you'll have everything sorted out."

The Cuarta swiftly exited the premises, shaking bits of the horrendous mint out of his sleeves and hakama.

There were also bits and pieces of it flaked in his hair, he planned on washing later after feeding the woman.

Ulquiorra shut the doors of the small room, lucky for him, it was a lot easier getting the woman to eat now after getting special permission from Aizen-sama to cook her own food especially since she had, interesting tastes.

Ready to head back to his quarters, Ulquiorra turned on his heels only to run into the one person he knew would delay him of his shower time.

" Grimmjow.."

" Watch it _pal_, I don't have time fer you right now-"

Grimmjow obviously was not that ecstatic to see him either.

Ulquiorra had opted to amble past the sexta, but was interrupted shortly when the bigger man grabbed at his thin wrist.

" Honestly, Grimmjow you-"

" What's that smell-"

" Grimmjow, what are you-"

The Sexta tugged him closer, making the Cuarta stumble back a bit as he began sniffing the air around him.

This startled the Cuarta, and he would have backed off if not for almost painful grip he had on his wrist.

" G-Grimmjow!?"

Said man brought his face down closer to the other's neck, and inhaled the intoxicating scent that lingered off him

"...whoa, shit..." he inhaled some more

"....you smell _good_..."

The Sexta's voice trailed while a euphoric and elevated feeling washed over his senses.

They were close now, too close for Ulquiorra's tastes, close enough he could feel the Sexta exhaling deeply against his sensitive neck skin, feeling shivers run up and down his spine.

".._Ah_.._yeah_.._.."_

His voice was low and husky, and a deep rumbling emanated deep within his throat, taking immense pleasure from the scent of catnip, combined with Ulqui's insanely soft skin.

" Mm, c'mon Ulqui let's _play..._"

Grimmjow's instincts took over, letting himself go as he rubbed affectionately against the other man.

Play!!? What did that mean? This wasn't good, this was embarrassing! What if somebody saw them? What if the woman could hear? Did he have no _shame_?!

Ulquiorra did not understand what was going on with the dear Sexta, he was behaving like a cat! A scrawny, filthy, human world street cat! Hehe, cats, catnip, Grimmjow,....Oh! Oh my...

" Grimmjow, put, me, down."

" But don'cha wanna rub my stomach, bet that feels_ real good_..."

" You don't have a stomach Grimmjow, now do as I say!"

" Fine, but I can still rub yours..."

The Sexta trailed his hands down towards the exposed skin of Ulqui's stomach, only to have them hastily slapped off .

" Grimmjow, we are going to Szayel Aporro's quarters, now."

" Hmm, I was hoping we'd go back to my room, s' closer, I don' think Pinky would 'preciate us doing things in his lab......let's do it!"

" NOT _THAT_

The slighter male broke free from his embrace and dragged the catnip induced Espada the entire way.

-_ 15 minutes and 20 seconds later _-

" GRIMMJOW! PLEASE CALM DOWN! H-HEY! GET AWAY FROM THAT! GRIMMJOW, I COMMAND YOU COME BACK HERE SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH!"

" NO! NO NEEDLE! NO NEEDLE!!"

The Sexta sprawled against the doors, scratching rapidly against the surface in a fruitless attempt at escape, while Szayel kept a safe distance with the needle in hand.

Oh for christ's sake! Ulquiorra rubbed his temples repeatedly, this was definatly not how an Espada should act, even if it was Grimmjow...that still didn't change how embarrassing this was.

Especially when Grimmjow clung himself to the ceiling.

**x0x0x0x**

**a/n: -slaps self- Dammit I really hope I find it cause one of them was a grimmulqui involving one of those crazy chinese finger love trap things XD, the other was a lemon, for what pairing, I can't remember. But enoughs about that, that was fun to write! Got me motivated. Again, sorry for slowness, trying to find a balance between drawing, typing, planning other story, and whatever else pops up in my life. Thank you to all my alerters/favoriters/and reviewers your all pure win in my book!  
**

**Review/Request if you'd like, but I is not forcing you too  
**

**Chow~KappaForest  
**


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